Consider this – “Judge your neighbour as you yourself would want to be judged”.
To judge in this context means – “to weigh the options with the aim of making a choice”. In other words, you are assessing someone with the aim of forming an opinion in order to decide if and how you will relate to that individual. Judging others is not as simple as just deciding if they are good or bad. Judging others is an important process that influences most areas of our lives.
To judge in order to make choices can therefore be regarded as one of the basic aspects of human nature.
Why then are we cautioned not to judge others?
One of the answers to this question is – We should not judge the individual as a person, but rather the words and actions of the individual. This answer, although noble, does not take into account that, as humans, we constantly need to judge the characters of others.
The choices we make with regard to relationships, for example, require us to judge the individual to establish if it would be beneficial to enter into a relationship with that person. So we judge and based on the merits of the situation, we label the individual either a friend, loved-one or a colleague.
These judgements (labelling) keep us safe and emotionally healthy.
But there is a danger when we label the individual – when we place the individual in a specific group we run the risk of focusing (judging) only on limited or specific aspects of who those individuals truly are – in a holistic sense. Our focus should be on the individual.
A second answer to the question of why we are cautioned not to judge others is – We are not cautioned to not judge at all, but rather to ensure that when we judge we do so with the same measurement (standard) that we would have ourselves be judged by.
This implies that we are not cautioned not to judge at all but rather to judge with discernment. Discernment can be regarded as the ability to make good judgements.
What would be good judgements?
Good judgements:
- would reflect your personal norms and standards – what you believe in – your principles;
- are relative and subjective – they are unique to you and do not necessarily reflect universal truths;
- are done with respect and humility;
- require a fair amount of self-knowledge.
Good judgements would therefore be justified on a personal level. In other words, if they are intended to add to the quality of your life.
How do you know if your judgements are justified in order to make a choice that would add value to the quality of your life?
A good rule of thumb is to ask the following questions –
- What is my aim, intention or what do I wish to accomplish by judging an individual?
- Would I be happy or willing to be judged by the standards by which I am judging?
- Are the standards by which I judge reflecting my personal principles?
By being aware of how you answer these questions you would be able to determine if judging is justified.
All judgements have consequences and you have to take responsibility for the consequences of the judgements you make.
Probably the most important judgements you make are self-judgements. Self-judgements require awareness of your thoughts, words and actions and assessing if it is in line with your personal norms and standards. If they are, they can improve the quality of your life. If they are not, they can lead to self-sabotage, emotional anxiety and even have a negative effect on your physical health. How you manage your self-judgements can lead to self growth and improvement. It is, however important that you consider the same criteria you use to judge others when you judge yourself.
The key to justified judgements (of yourself and others) is self-knowledge and the willingness to reflect your principles in the choices you make.
Denying that you judge others and advocating that others should not judge will result in cognitive dissonance and fill you with unnecessary feelings of guilt. Acknowledge that you judge, but ensure that you do it with discernment – based on your personal principles. Judge with kindness and compassion and ensure that your intention to judge is not malevolent.
Knowing yourself is the first step in using judgements to grow on a personal level and to ensure that you live a quality life.
To increase your self-knowledge, consider this – *********
Research indicates that individuals in a specific Soul Group tend to make choices based on correlating factors. For more information on the Soul Group you belong to click here – ********
For previous specials click here – ************
Please leave a comment below and share the link with others – http://chirology.co.za/kfc/